DRAGON Rider
by Dasom
Summary: The last egg is here. This is my first Eragon fanfic and i have got a funny plan for later. Trust me. CHAPTER 6 UP
1. A dragon egg and a feast

Chapter 1

The Egg

It was an amazing battle to get the third egg. Actually Galbatorix was on vacation in a place unknown to all other people under his rule- a place called Ant-art-freak-ah.

It was so warm compared to home, witch was -6,441,452,725,725,545,465,354 degrees. In fact, since Galbatorix's father was the wax monster, he melted in till he realized that Alagaesia was in fact, not -6,441,452,725,725,545,465,354 degrees.

It was only THE EXACT SAME AS EVERYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

And by the time he had figured that out

He figured out he wasn't in Ant-art-freak-ah (Antarctica) but instead was in Minnesota:

So I was walking along, when I tripped over him, so I kicked him and he started crying. I ran away from the weirdo.

This had happened in Alagaesia:

Eragon had killed all the guards and taken the egg. Now he had to find a rider. He right away took it to Arya and Queen Islanzadi. They started talking and had a meal.

"Pass the hotdogs!" Eragon cried. Everyone stared at him and everyone simultaneously said "Hotdogs? What the he- heck are hotdogs?"

Back to the egg.

"What color is the dragon? Red, black, or blue?" Islanzadi quizzed him. "None. It's green." (Yes, I know, but I just want a green dragon, its green and nice-looking.) "Male or female?" "Neither," they starred at him.

"I'M KIDDING! Jeesh…. Male."

Saphira lifted her head. If a good person became the rider, she would have a husband! And he would be hot, being the only green dragon.

"We must find a rider for it, for this is one small egg for dragon, and one giant mating for dragonkind!"

I want 22 reveiws for the next two chapters, and it gets funnier. By far.


	2. Saphira?

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:"

"Wait that part seems firmilliar...oh well! Go on!" she said.

Ok. Where was I? Oh yes.

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:"

"I don't like this story. taht Arya person seems stupid." Anyway.

"Saphira's the new Dragon Rider! It's The first DRAGON Rider!" Arya and Saphira looked at him like he was insane. "What?" he asked. "Does it happen a lot?" "No" "Ok"

"Saphira, how did this all happen?"

"I'll tell you.

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:"

"Wait that part seems firmilliar...oh well! Go on!" she said.

Ok. Where was I? Oh yes.

"You know, they could not be born yet"

"SO?!"

"Why do we keep searching?"

"…because my back scratcher is missing"

"Oh, ok…wait a minute! Since when can you talk in a normal voice?"

"Since two sentences ago."

"HA! Three!"

"No, look, not including this and the other one"

Eragon looked at the writing.

"Oh…"

He shrugged.

"Anyway"

"Yeah, we need to find a Rider for this here egg" she said, putting a paw on the egg. It cracked.

"Saphira you broke it!"

Arya, who suddenly appeared, raced off saying, "I'll go get the glue!" When she came back, she was pushing a can the size of Saphira. "I-got-the-glue" she said through her teeth.

"No look, it's hatching!"

Arya looked up in amazement at Saphira. "Since when do you talk?" she asked her. Saphira sighed. "Here is the story:"

"I don't like this story. taht Arya person seems stupid." Anyway.

"Saphira's the new Dragon Rider! It's The first DRAGON Rider!" Arya and Saphira looked at him like he was insane. "What?" he asked. "Does it happen a lot?" "No" "Ok"

"Saphira, how did this all happen?"

"Wow, what a great story!"

------------------------------

**What will happen next? Find out on the next episode of DRAGON Rider!**


	3. What to do?

Chapter 3

What to do?

"Great, now both my brother AND dragon are Dragon Riders!" Eragon pouted.

"Actually, Saphira is a DRAGON Rider." Said Oromis (SP?) "What's the difference?" "DRAGON Rider is all capitol for 'dragon', see?" he told Eragon, pointing up at the letters.

"OH. Well, now what do we do? I mean, Saphira can't take care of a baby dragon! SHE'S a dragon, and SHE'S a girl!"

_How sexist! _

"When did you go back to thought speak?"

"She did it just then, you asshole!"

"Ok….well; let's figure out what to do with the baby dragon."

They all got into 'The Thinker' position.

"We need some one who knows about dragons…"

Saphira coughed.

"Preferably a girl…"

Saphira and Arya coughed, then glared at each other.

"Preferably a magical being…"

They coughed angrily again.

"Preferably someone free of illness…"

They smiled and waved furiously at him.

"Preferably someone I like…."

Arya blew a kiss and Saphira batted her…eyebrows….

"Preferably someone who is smart…"

Arya and Saphira put on white jackets and glasses and started writing long equations on a blackboard.

"Preferably someone that is in this room"

Arya and Saphira gave up and started stomping on Eragon.

Who got smoshed.

"PICK ONE OF US YOU FLAT IDIOT!" The elf and dragon shouted at him.

"How about you just team up and do it together" said a long forgotten Oromis.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, ok"

So then Arya and Saphira teamed up. Together.

-----------

**Sorry to interrupt, but isn't it annoying in the original Rudolph the red nosed reindeer that Rudolph and the elf go "Let's be independent TOGETHER!"? It's annoying to me. Anyway, back to the Fic.**

**------------**

"So, now that Arya and Saphira have gone to take care of the hatchling, we have to do some hunting." Oromis said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now that we have a dragon to take care of, not to mention fighting Galbatorix, we should take shifts. How does switch every hour sound?"

_I'd say two hours_

"Ok. Hmph. I like it better when you talked."

"I still can you know."

"Oh."

"You take first shift."

"Okey-dokey!"

_Okay…_

"What?"

_Nothing…_

------------------

"Oromis, how much further do we have to goooooo?"

"Do not fret young one. Only 17 miles left to go."

Eragon groaned and collapsed.

----------------------

TO BE CONTINUED! HOPEFULLY!


	4. Shifts

Chapter 4

Shifts

"Saphira, I think it's my turn"

"Okey-dokey"

"ooooooookkkkkkkaaaaaaay"

_WHAT?! IT'S THE SAME THING YOU SAID!!!!_

"_Arya is not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep and she will get back to you at some point in time. Thank you._"

"Arya-"

"WAIT! I haven't said beep"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Aren't you goin-"

"HAVEN'T BEEPED YET…."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE-"

"NOPE"

"RRRRRRRRRRRR"

"Nop-"

Please wait as Saphira tramples Arya

"Owee"

"Now will you let me speak?"

"Nope"

Please wait as Saphira tramples Arya again

"How about-"

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"Finally! I-"

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Your time is up"

"GRRRRRRRR!"

Please wait as Saphira tramples Arya until she is PANCAKE ARYA!

_Fwoood? _The little baby dragon cooed.

"**Awwwwww!"** Arya and Saphira chimed.

So they gave it food.

Then it went to sleep.

And so did they.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eragon? Whewf, that's a relief" Oromis as Eragon floated away.

"Wait-" Then Oromis ran back as fast as he could to the Elf place.


	5. Galby

Chapter 5

Where's Eragon?

"Hi Oromis" Arya-the-still-pancake said.

"Greetings Arya Pancake" he said, giving her a last name like people did to Eragon and Roran.

"Let's dance!" Saphira screamed, pulling out a boom box from nowhere then playing 'Bongo!'

So then they danced for a while, Oromis still being creeped out.

"Hey, where's Eragon?" Arya said, finally noticed.

"Oh, he floated away" Oromis said.

"WHAT??? WHAT IF IT WAS GALBATORIX MAKING HIM FLY AWAY!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????" Saphira screamed at him.

"Uh, actually, I think it was…."

Saphira frowned.

"Well, we better go get him," she said, then frowned. "Who will…?" but then she noticed that the baby dragon had already grown up, just like in the movie.

_Let's go_ he said to Saph.

_Ok! _She said back.

_OK…. _He said, mildly creeped out.

"You'll get used to it" Arya notified him.

_Ok._

-----------------------------------------------------

"MWAHAHA! NOW I HAVE THE DRAGON RIDER! BWAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHA! BWA! BWA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Dude, that's getting a bit old"

"DO you want to know WHAT I'm going to do to you?"

"Yeah sure"

"Ok. I will tell you. First I will torture you. Then I need to decide what to do, go with the Murtagh plan,"

"Hey" said Murtagh from a corner, raising one hand quickly yet lazily.

"Or if I should just KILL YOU! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHAHHA! BWAHA! BWAHAHAHA! BWAHA! BWABWABWAHAHA!"

"Seriously, dude, GET A SHORTER (and better) EVIL LAUGH!"

"Hey, I have to listen to it all day long," Murtagh complained.

"Hey! It does NOT suck!"

"Yeah, I agree with that," Eragon said.

"Really? That was easy"

"Yeah, if you take out the NOT part!" E said back.

"You're so meeaaaaaannnnn!!!!!!!!!" Galbatorix said, throwing a child-like fit.

"..."

"DON'T ... AT ME MISTER!"

"...no"

"HA! THAT WAS A ...no BUT NOT JUST A ...!"

"..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TO THE TOTURE ROOM! MWAHAHAHA!"


	6. Torture

**I'm really sorry for the wait! I had a major writer's block…..I'll try to do better!**

Dragon RIDER

Chapter 6

Torture

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Eragon.

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed Murtagh.

"Why are you screaming?" Eragon asked Murtagh.

"I'm hungry!"

"Oh. I'm going to call you Murty now."

"NOO! I prefer Murmoo!"

"Merr-moe?"

"No no no, MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"Ok Merpoo"

"Have you fools ( BWAHAHA!) forgotten about BWABWABWAAHAHAHA! ME?" Galby laughed at them EEEEEEEEEEEEEvily.

"NO" Murmoo and Eary said together.

"Just regular you" added Eragon, who I shall call Eary (like air-ee)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Galbatorix.

----------------------------------

"I think I just heard a scream of pain!" said Oromis, with everyone on his dragon.

"Oh no, do you think it was Eary?" gasped Arya.

"No, I don't think it was, and how did you know about him being called Eary?"

"Well, I think we have some magical connection….or this is the work of A FANFIC AUTHOR!" she said, standing up. "And if it wasn't my little Eary, who was it?"

"It was……..GALBY!...or Barney, I can never tell the difference"

"Oh, I hope we find them quickly……….."

"Don't worry my little pancake, don't worry"

--------------------------------------------------------

"STOP TORTURING ME!" screamed Eary.

"Why?" asked GALBY. "You're just a big MEANY!" he mentioned, sticking his tongue out.

"Galby, we've both been tortured for an hour…."

"How have you been tortured?" G asked Murmoo.

"I want that pie just as much as he does!"

"Oh" they stared at each other when all of a sudden Galby had ANOTHER outburst. "BWAHAHA! BWAHA! HA! HAHA HA! MWABWAHA! MWABWA! MWAMWAMWAMWAMAWAMWA MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Wait, is that the flapping of DRAGON WINGS?"

"Yes!" shouted Oromis, holding a sword as he jumped off the dragon.

"Haha! We have you by sur-er-suuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr- hey, guys, I'm stuck."

"Didn't you use the PAM?" Oromis shouted.

"Errrrrrrr-"

-In Arya's memory-

"Before you get on, be sure to put on some Pam so you don't stick."

Arya shrugged her pancake shoulders and got on, leaving behind the Pam.

-Fin-

"ARYA!" Everyone else shouted.

Saph lifted up her foot and poke/stomped on her.

"Hey, I'm not a pancake! Anymore!"

"Darn!" said Murtagh, who had gotten his eating…utensils and had been running back when he heard this. "Are you at least a waffle?"

"No, I'm an Elf! Again! LET'S CELEBRATE!"

Arya cleared her throat.

"Young man - there's no need to feel down  
I said: young man, pick yourself off the ground  
I said: young man, 'cause you're really not down  
There's no need to be unhappy

Young man, there's a place you can go  
I said young man, when you're short on your dough  
You can stay there and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.  
They have everything for young man to enjoy  
You can hang out with all the boys  
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.  
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.  
You can get yourself clean  
You can have a good meal  
You can do whatever you feel

Woa, young man, are you listening to me?  
I said: young man, what to you want to be  
I said: young man, you can make real your dreams  
But you've got to know this one thing:  
No man, does it all by himself  
I said: young man, put your pride on the shelf  
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.  
I'm sure they can help you today

Young man, I was once in your shoes  
I said: I was down and out with the blues  
There's a place there, called the Y.M.C.A.  
They can start you back on your way!"

"Whewf…now, let's battle" said Oromis.

"Ok. ARGGGH! (bwaha)"


	7. The Battle!

Dragon RIDER

Dragon RIDER

Chapter 7

THE BATTLE!!

And so…THEY PLUNGED INTO A FEROCIOUS BATTLE!

As Galby and Eragon fought, Arya fought with Oromis, ("But I'm on your side, princess!!" "THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY, SKANK!") and Murty tangoed with Saphira, then they all switched, Galby with Oromis, Arya with Saphira, ("But we're on the same side" "YOU JUST GOT THAT FROM THAT OTHER GUY!!") and Murty and Eragon.

Suddenly, Eary stopped and shouted "OH MY GOSH! Murty- when did YOU become evil!! BRO-BRO! NOOOOOO!!" and Murty smacked him across the face.

**You know, I'm serious, 'Let's be independent together'? Really? What? That's confusing!**

Oromis stopped. "That is confusing."

Galby stopped too. "Yews, very (BWAHAHAHA) much."

And so they sat there, until Galby mentioned "Oh yes, weren't we fighting?"

So there it was- Eary crying, Murty rolling his eyes, Galby evilly laughing, Oromis being all hi-yah, and Arya ferociously battling Saphira.

The forgotten green dragon looked on, confused. He was re-babified.

Oromis leaned over. "Don't worry-if you're lucky you'll get used to it."

Saphira stopped. "You need a name!" So they all thought.

"How about Galby Junior?" Galby suggested.

"How about Moe?" Murty suggested

"How about Greeny?" Arya put in.

"How about little dinosaur?" Eragon added.

"How about EMPTY YELLOW MUSTARD CAN?" Saphira suggested.

"How about Saphira?" Brom suggested.

"Brom?" said Eragon, "Aren't you supposed to be DEAD?"

"I was bored" he replied after careful thought.

"**How about YOU?"**

"What?" they all asked.

**You heard me. People, GIVE ME A NAME!!...says I, Dasom.**

"Oh is that your name?" Oromis said to himself.


End file.
